Reasons for Nothing by Tawni Waters

Because red wine is my junk
Because I would mainline it if I could
Because I stand in rich people’s houses overlooking city lights breaking like waves on the wrong side of the shoreline
Because I think deep thoughts when I do this
Because my feet are bare most of the time
Because I slip back and forth between celibacy and debauchery
Because I have made a career of self-analysis
Because I am tormented in all the right ways
Because I carry secrets in my skin
Because lies are sewn into the lining of my skirt like contraband
Because men love me, but I never love them back
Because I love him, but he never loves me back
Because that one kid’s mom said I would break many hearts, and she was right
Because my own heart breaks every night
Because I smile all the time
Because if you see me cry, you’ll think you’re lucky
Because English is the only language I speak fluently, but I can fake my way through ordering duck in Spanish
Because I talk to angels when I’m sleeping
Because when I was a little girl, I saw Jesus in a smattering of prismed light
Because I love good cheese
Because I resent hypocrisy
Because I am a hypocrite
Because I would like to throw my arms around the world
Because the world keeps trying to kill me
Because I read Sherman Alexie
Because I listen to Lana Del Rey
Because if I told you, you wouldn’t believe me
Because I carry mystery in the pocket of my belly

About Tawni Waters